1. Introduction
This lesson aims to teach students about different forms of sexual harassment and sexual abuse. They will learn to identify different situations in which sexual harassment and abuse may occur and skills on how to cope in these situations. Students will learn to understand the importance of being consensual: both partners need to agree to sex or a sexual activity, based on respecting each other’s wishes and limits.
In this lesson it is important to emphasize that whatever beliefs a person has, no one has the right to force anybody into sex or to sexually abuse them. If it does happen, the person who was forced is never to blame, whatever they have said or done.
Students learn that they have the right to speak out to get emotional support and to get the medical treatment when needed to prevent pregnancy and infections with STIs and HIV!
Students will explore why it might be hard for someone to say 'No' to sex. They will give advice to their peers on how saying no to sex can become easier. For example, in some cultures it is not acceptable for women to say 'No' to sex. They are rather seen as sexual property of men than individuals with their own rights. Therefore, women and girls are more vulnerable to sexual abuse and violence. But it can also be difficult for boys and men to say 'No' to sex. Men are often seen as always willing to have sex, which makes it difficult to say no when they are not in the mood for sex or don’t feel ready yet. They could be afraid they will not be seen as ‘real men’, if they do not want to or are not ready to have sex.
At the end of the lesson students will practise saying 'No' by using body language, since the body is an important tool in effective non-verbal communication with others.
2. Key Messages
- Strong self-esteem helps us to see when others do not care about our well-being, but only care about themselves
- We can set our own limits for what to do with our bodies
- You can always ‘say no’, even if you’ve agreed to sex before
- If others cross those limits it is abuse
- Sexual abuse can take many forms, including physical, emotional, psychological, violence and aggression
- If you are abused, you are not to blame – so speak up and get support
- There are ways to avoid the situations that might result in abuse
3. Teacher Tips
Preparation
Today’s topic is a difficult and sensitive one to talk about. Sexual harassment and sexual abuse occur in different ways and forms ; they raise complex issues. Students, boys and girls, may have had bad experiences or are fearful of being stigmatised should they disclose their own experiences of sexual harassment or abuse.
To allow students prepare mentally for this lesson, tell them in advance this topic is coming up. Victims are often reluctant to disclose sexual abuse for fear of blame or stigmatisation. Emphasise that a victim of abuse is never to blame whatever they have said or done.
Support
This topic can be sensitive to discuss: as a teacher you are unlikely to know which students have experienced sexual abuse or harassment in the past. And of course you cannot ask this question in class. It is particularly important that we all take care of ourselves and for each other during this lesson. And remember, you can always talk to a trusted colleague, counsellor or your head master if you need more support.
Handling students who get upset
It can happen that someone in your class will relate a bad experience or suddenly gets very emotional.
- A good teacher should always listen carefully and observe what is happening with the students; this is especially true in this lesson.
- If you notice that one of your students is getting emotional, take a short break in the programme.
- Ask the student what they want to do and offer different options: they may sit at the back of the classroom to calm down, wait outside with a friend or classmate or wait for you to join them.
- It is important that teachers offer their support, not immediately in front of all students, but preferably later after finishing class. Ask someone to accompany the student if they choose to leave the classroom so that they will not feel isolated and alone.
Explain to students that another term for ‘rape victim’ is ‘rape survivor’, since this term is used to show that victims are not powerless, it emphasizes the strength and endurance that is needed to survive such a traumatic ordeal. This term can also encourage communities to stop stigmatising survivors of abuse and empower survivors to practise their right to speak out and seek medical help to prevent HIV infection or pregnancy.
Referral
It is important to have a list of referral addresses before you start with this lesson to ensure students can get professional assistance if they wish so. Included in the referral list should be names of trusted and professional people such as counsellors, NGOs, health care providers, a medical centre, the police or the church.
4. Lesson Aims
- Students agree that sex should be voluntary or it should not take place at all.
- Students learn about different forms of sexual harassment and abuse.
- Students learn ways to handle or avoid dangerous situations that might result in abuse.Students learn where to find help in the case of abuse.
- Students explore some myths around sexual abuse.
- Students feel sympathy for victims of sexual abuse.
5. Main Topics
The most important concepts being discussed in this lesson are:
- Consensual sex
- Sexual abuse
- Sexual harassment
- Rape
- Transactional sex
Please find a detailed description of these concepts and many others in the glossary.
